The Little Hater

It has been way too long since I last posted. The main reason: my computer pretty much stopped working and had to be rebuilt. No big deal - everything was backed up. But it was a hassle, and meant I didn't always have access to a computer, and most importantly, didn't have access to all the lovely pictures of San Francisco I wanted to post. I've also been meaning to do a post on some of the stuff I'm researching at NARAL, but we'll save that for very soon, I promise.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned that I love Jay Smooth, but I do. He's incredibly smart (and obviously feminist, anti-racist, and anti-homophobic) and provides great critiques of pop culture, but also seems like a friendly and compassionate guy with whom I'd feel comfortable striking up a conversation. In any case, this video here is a perfect description of what it feels like to be a blogger, a writer, a musician, or anyone who puts out a creative product for others to see. Personally, I feel like that "little hater" is always in the back of my mind. When he said the part about procrastination, I instantly gave him snaps (without considering the fact that no one could see/hear me).




The little hater is pretty much always there, telling me that my work just isn't worthy of being shown to anyone. Sometimes I can acknowledge that what I've done is good - in the case of my writing, it's not till after after I get positive feedback; in the case of music, I usually know when something special has happened (see also: most Saxtet performances). I haven't yet figured out a way to beat procrastination and self-doubt (which I think are inherently related), other than putting things off because I "work better under pressure," which means I either don't get stuff done or I don't sleep. Making detailed schedules helps with the procrastination, but not so much the self-doubt. Any sound advice out there?

In any case, go check out more of Jay's stuff while you're waiting with bated breath for me to post again.